100 Reasons Why
The Lakers Are Greater Than The Celtics
A proudly biased, wildly unhinged, absolutely unapologetic love letter to Los Angeles — and a cease-and-desist waiting to happen for Boston.
Welcome to 100 Reasons Why the Lakers Are Greater Than the Celtics, a sacred text for Lakers fans, a hate crime for Celtics fans, and a delightful act of slander for anyone stuck somewhere in between. This book is not balanced. It is not thoughtful. It is not objective. It does not pretend to be journalism, analysis, or even emotionally stable. It is Lakers worship dipped in purple-and-gold smugness, sprinkled with Hollywood glitter, and delivered with the full disrespect Boston deserves.
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What's Inside
– praise for every Lakers legend who mattered,
– mockery for every Celtics player who didn’t,
– jokes that go too far,
– jokes that go way too far,
– and enough anti-Boston propaganda to make Larry Bird reach for his rotary phone.
This book celebrates Los Angeles basketball the only correct way: loudly, arrogantly, and with absolutely no concern for truth. Lakers glory vs. Celtics nostalgia. Showtime vs. Shovel-Your-Driveway-Time. Hollywood excellence vs. Dunkin’-fuelled delusion. It’s all here — and all deeply unfair.
Perfect For
• Kobe worship (as is legally required)
• Purple-and-gold propaganda
• Celtics slander sprinkled like parmesan on bad pasta
• Outrageous exaggerations we stand by completely
• A few blank pages pretending to be “modern art”
• And disclaimers begging Boston not to sue — they’re petty enough to try
If you’re a Lakers fan, this will feel like gospel.
If you’re a Celtics fan, this will feel like a crime scene.
If you’re neutral, you’re now purple-and-gold by force. No refunds.
To the city of Los Angeles: thank you for giving the world sunshine, legends, dynasties, and the correct answer to every NBA debate.
To the city of Boston: thank you for giving us something to laugh at.
And to any angry Celtics fans clutching their 18 banners from the Eisenhower administration: relax. It’s comedy. It’s satire. It’s rivalry theatre.
(Also, please don’t sue. We cannot stress this enough.)
This is not a book about basketball.
This is a book about winning, history, Hollywood, and the absolute joy of reminding Boston they’ll never be as cool as Los Angeles.
So flip the page.
The dynasty is calling.
And it says:
Welcome to Lakers supremacy.