100 Reasons Why
The Flyers Are Greater Than The Penguins
A love letter to Philly chaos — and a restraining order against Pittsburgh optimism.
Welcome to 100 Reasons Why the Flyers Are Greater Than the Penguins — the definitive, heavily biased, unapologetically unhinged guide to proving that orange-and-black superiority isn’t just tradition… it’s a civic responsibility.
This book is not fair. It is not balanced. It is not “just hockey banter.”
It is a Philadelphia thesis paper written in blood, battery acid, and Gritty’s used sweatband.
Inside these pages, you’ll find every reason Flyers fans already know deep in their soul and Penguins fans try desperately to deny — usually by tweeting in lowercase from their childhood bedrooms.
This is the Battle of Pennsylvania as it was meant to be told:
loud, violent, petty, poetic, and absolutely allergic to anything wearing black and gold.
If you’re a Flyers fan, this book will feel like a punch-up in the second period — cathartic, messy, and absolutely necessary.
If you’re a Penguins fan, you may experience discomfort, distress, or uncontrollable crying — please consult a therapist or Evgeni Malkin’s translator.
If you’re neutral, welcome. We apologise for nothing.
Turn the page. Lace up. Embrace the orange.
Because Flyers hockey is blood and thunder — and Penguins hockey is a TED Talk with skates.
What's Inside
You’ll read about:
- Flyers legends who turned bruises into folklore vs. Penguins legends who turned penalty dives into art-house cinema
- Philly’s spiritual mascots (Gritty and rage) vs. Pittsburgh’s mascot, who looks like a typo in a children’s book
- Flyers fans tailgating in sleet with pride vs. Penguins fans checking the NFL schedule in April
- Philadelphia hockey, built on grit, chaos, and actual physical contact vs. Penguins hockey, built on hashtags, excuses, and referees with suspicious eyesight
- How Broad Street Bullies changed the sport… and how Pittsburgh changed the meaning of “soft”
- Why Philadelphia raises warriors while Pittsburgh raises complaints
And of course, why even at their worst, the Flyers are still more iconic, more feared, more real, and far more entertaining than the Penguins have ever been