100 Reasons Why
The Cubs Are Greater Than The Yankees
A scientifically unscientific masterpiece proving Chicago > New York (emotionally, spiritually, morally, and comedically).
Welcome to the book no Yankees fan asked for — and every Cubs fan will pretend they don’t need. 100 Reasons Why the Cubs Are Greater Than the Yankees is a gloriously biased, proudly delusional, zero-facts-given roast session that settles absolutely nothing… while making both sides scream anyway.
This book contains 100 reasons (the term is doing heavy lifting) explaining why the lovable Chicago Cubs — the franchise built on hope, heartbreak, and Wrigley Field’s morally suspicious hot dogs — stand tall over the New York Yankees, baseball’s self-appointed royal family. And yes, the slander begins early: by page 14, the book directly states that wearing a Yankees logo “means you’re probably an asshole.” Tasteful? No. On-brand? Perfectly.
Inside this beautifully stupid collection, you’ll discover:
- Why Cubs baseball is “art” while Yankees baseball is “commerce”
- Why Cubs heartbreak builds character and Yankees heartbreak builds property damage
- Why Wrigleyville is joy and the Bronx is “just plain scary”
- Why Chicago’s goat became folklore while New York finds a new scapegoat every season
- Why even the Cubs mascot is adorable while the Yankees’ unofficial mascot is “a drunk guy named Vito who takes his shirt off in the 5th inning”
- Why Cubs fans bleed Cubbie blue and Yankees fans bleed from “fights in the parking lot”
Printed edition
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What's Inside
Across the pages, you’ll find:
- Wrigley’s ivy hailed as a “silent ninja” while Yankee Stadium’s right-field porch gets compared to a Little League reward system.
- Chicago’s day baseball called “church,” and Bronx night games described as a “smelly street-corner preacher”.
- Cubs fans depicted as loyal, hopeful, joyful humans… and Yankees fans depicted as rage-fuelled investment bankers with violence issues.
- And enough New York insults to violate Geneva Convention guidelines.
The book also includes:
- A fully unhinged introduction openly mocking Yankees fans AND the authors’ own competence
- Blank pages pretending to be “artistic silence”
- A crossword puzzle that exists solely to humiliate the reader
- Repeated reminders that none of this is official, legal, reasonable, or in any way connected to MLB
- Visual sketches of baseballs, gloves, bases, helmets — all placed there to make you think this book tried harder than it actually did
Perfect For
This book is ideal for:
- Cubs fans with unhealthy levels of optimism
- Yankees fans with a strong stomach
- Baseball fans who prefer chaos over logic
- People who enjoy roast battles dressed up as literature
- Gift-givers with malicious intent